Monday, March 14, 2011

Scaredy...

This gem came from a good pal of mine who recently joined PlentyofFish - a website I still get weekly matches from despite my attempts to unsubscribe. Enjoy!

I went on the blind date last night with a guy and it was terribly interesting. He ended up being exactly like his emails, funny and sarcastic. He's at least 6'1", maybe taller, built and kinda nerdy-cute with Clark Kent glasses. BUT, get this, he's got more phobias and issues than anyone I have ever met:
  • he doesn't go in the ocean because of sharks
  • he's afraid of heights
  • he gets sea sick and car sick
  • he’s vegetarian/vegan because he loves animals
  • he has asthma
  • he refuses do drink beer or wine - only booze
  • the only vacation he's ever really been on was to Disney World two years ago
  • he loves Comicon and Star Wars (the home image on his phone is Anakin Skywalker after he became Darth Vader)
  •  he was obese as a child so he doesn't ever over-eat and that's why he initially became vegetarian to lower his cholesterol
  • he doesn’t eat junk food. Ever.
  • he grew up in Staten Island and has all kinds of problems with that (especially that his parents are racist)
  • his best friend may be gay and he's worried about that because his friend won’t admit it
  • he's obsessed with fish (like as pets) and has a huge fish tank in his apt. 
  • he's furious people think he's a certain ethnicity because of his last name (maybe the apple doesn't fall so far from the tree) 
What is the weirdest thing you ever discovered about someone on a first date? Was it enough to keep you from going on a second date? And yes, there will be a second date for my friend...can't wait to tell you all how it goes!

Monday, January 3, 2011

2010: The Year of Zero First Dates

Well, here we are. 2011 has arrived and it's only natural to look back on the last year and think about what we did and didn't do. What didn't I do? Well, I didn't stick to my blogging resolutions (duh). But also, 2010 was the first year since I moved to New York that I didn't go on a single first date. Not one. Zero.

You may be thinking, "Well that explains the lack of new material." And you're right...but it's no excuse, really, for not posting. I have ammo that would last years of date-free living.

There's a good reason I haven't been on any first dates this year, though. Apparently the dating gods felt I finally kissed enough frogs - so they delivered a dude to my doorstep. Well, I guess they dropped him in my Match.com inbox (modern day doorstep, if you will). He's wonderful, amazing, fabulous, blah blah blah - everything a girl (this girl) could want. I won't gush on and on, no need to induce vomiting, but suffice to say, I'm happily stumbling along the relationship yellow brick road.

This gem of a guy even knows about my blog (found it before I had the chance to tell him about it - go me). And better yet - is supportive of it (he hasn't read every post...)! So now that we've got that year under our belt, I'm back to the bloggosphere.

Here's the thing: I have plenty of stories, and I will regale you with them on a weekly basis. But let's cut my man a little slack...send me your stories (bullet them out, I'll make sure they're HILARIOUS before they post), we'll keep it all anonymous and everyone can have a good time. This way, if I write anything too risque and he reads it, I can say "Uhhh that post was contributed..."

My point of view on dating hasn't changed the slightest, and in fact, having found myself in a happy relationship, I feel more strongly than ever that it's better to be single and laughing than coupled and complacent.Trust me, it's worth the wait.

Happy New Year folks!

Friday, December 17, 2010

"'lord' pasonal saviour" - That's me!

Someone didn't take the time to read my posts before sending this email to my Why I'm Single account on Facebook. I guess this is the price of accepting a friend request...

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

CYBERSPACE!

Yessssssssssssssss! I have internet at my apartment after 5 grueling months of unsuccessfully trying to kidnap access from other people. Hold on to your hats, Las Vegas Vol. 2, Ch. 2 coming next week!!!

Thanks to those of you who are sending in your stories - I'm queuing them up! For the rest of you with funny, miserable dating stories: I'm waaaaaaiting...

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Update

Hey guys,

This has been one MAJOR hiatus, huh?! Don't fret - there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Between an exploded MacBook Pro battery and no internet, blogging has been...a challenge. That's the dark part of the tunnel.

The light at the end is this: I have internet installation scheduled! Yesssssssssss! And I have big ol' plans to go to hit up Mac and get my laptop fixed.

In the mean time, I'm writing. During my days without Why I'm Single, I've had some amazing conversations with readers about your awful/funny/embarrassing dates. What's more, I know there are more stories out there! So pleaaaaaaaaaaaase share them with me.

You don't need to be a great writer - just a catastrophic dater (like yours truly). Send your e-mails to whyimsingle@gmail.com. I'll help you tell your story (no I won't post the e-mail on the blog - this all stays anonymous folks).

Also, this isn't limited to girls. Guys, we know we're psychotic. And to tell the truth, hearing stories about other nutso girls makes us feel way better about ourselves.

Much love.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Las Vegas Vol. 2, Chapter 1

You might remember my last Las Vegas adventure. Yup, that's where I spent Valentine's Day last year...with my dad.

Well, I took another trip to the City of Sin recently to celebrate the great Kaedy Kiely's birthday in style. Because we were celebrating a fantastic 50 year young lady, I expected and uneventful (in terms of bloggable stories) weekend. If not for the flight, I would have been right. Fear not, this was hands-down the weirdest flight of all time.

Now, we all have different preferences when it comes to flying buddies - particularly when they are strangers. No one wants to be in the middle seat with obese/smelly/loud/obnoxious (take your pick) neighbors. Some people are talkers. Some are not. I can be happy either way (those of you who know me aren't suprised to read that). True, sometimes people talk too much or people are rudley silent. But how many times have you been in a position like this? (And no, that is not a rhetorical question. I really want to know - and if you have stories, share them dang it!)

To say I was pumped about getting on the plane would be a gross understatement. My flight had been delayed for more than six hours (thank goodness I got up at 4:30 am to get to the airport on time), there were no alternate flights and I was sure to miss night #1 festivities. Oh, and when I get stressed, I break out in hives (it's even more attractive than it sounds). I was also jazzed because KK hooked up a first class ticket for me - and that meant a big(ger) seat, lower likelihood of encountering a "talker" and free drinks to help me unwind and fall asleep.

I quickly settled in to my front row seat and waited patiently to find out who my seat partner would be.

"Welp! Looks lke we're sitting next to each other." The voice was friendly and belonged to a beer bellied dude, probably in his 40s, moustached, wearing a ballcap that said something about the military and some college t-shirt.

"Hi!" I said cheerily. Clearly this dude was going to read a hunting magazine, drink some beers and conk out.

He sat down and we each situated ourselves with necessary items for the flight: music, reading material, disengaged stares at the wall in front of us.

"Hope you won't think I'm rude," said Billy Bob. "I'm not much of an airplane talker, I'll probably just fall right asleep."

"Oh, don't worry about it. I'm sure I'll sleep most of the way too."

"Whew, glad we got that out of the way then. No awkward airplane conversation," he kinda joked. "If you need to get up and I'm asleep, just nudge me."

"Ok, " I said with a laugh. As far as I was concerned, I had the perfect traveling buddy. We both wanted to just fall asleep, he was a normal guy - not some Richie Rich type who was going to look down at me for wearing leggings and a sweater on the plane.

The stewardess came by asking if we wanted a drink. I ordered a beer and he followed suit. She asked if I wanted a cup. He laughed. I said no thank you.

I cracked it open, ready for some "Shutter Island" and silence.

"Peace and quiet and a good beer. Right?" he said.

I smiled.

The thing is, the peace and quiet lasted an entire 90 seconds.

"So what's your situation?"

"Excuse me?"

"Are you single? Or...in a relationship? No wedding band, I see."

The doors to the plane weren't closed. The final passengers weren't even seated.

I fastened my seat belt.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Thanks J.D.

This was posted a while back, but I thought Holden could pass on some parting wisdom from the late great J.D. Salinger...

Granted, today he'd be in his 80's, but Holden Caulfield's take on women throughout Catcher in the Rye is honest and absolutely hysterical.

Here's a passage I was reading recently and thought you might get a kick out of it - Holden talking about gettin' it on:

The thing is, most of the time when you're coming pretty close to doing it with a girl - a girl that isn't a prostitute or anything, I mean - she keeps telling you to stop. The trouble with me is, I stop. Most guys don't. I can't help it. You never know when they really want you to stop, or whether they're just scared as hell, or whether they're just telling you to stop so that if you do go through with it, the blame'll be on you, not them. Anyway, I keep stopping. The trouble is, I get to feeling sorry for them. I mean most girls are so dumb and all. After you neck them for a while, you can really watch them lose their brains. You take a girl when she really gets passionate, she just hasn't any brains. I don't know. They tell me to stop, so I stop. I always wish I hadn't, after I take them home, but I keep doing it anyway.


Salinger, J.D. The Catcher in the Rye. Boston: Little, Brown and Company, 1951