Monday, April 13, 2009

Blue Aluminum Part 3

So we sat at a table in the corner of Juan Valdez and got down to business.

“Well, I have to say, I’m really relieved,” Model said.


“Yeah I was afraid you weren’t going to be as cute as I remembered.”


“Oh,” I laughed. “Were you afraid I was going to have a lazy eye or something.”

“No. No.” Model got defensive.

“I’m just kidding.”

So we talked about the usual stuff, admitting right away that neither of us remembered details about the other from our first meeting.

He was from Maine. Had a brother who was the “boy” of the family. Quite a reassuring thing to hear from the guy you’re sitting across from on a date.
Ummm, are families in Maine limited to only one “boy” son?

“Well what do you mean by that?”

“Oh – just that my brother was more into sports and stuff than me,” he explained.

Ok, I guess I can live with that.

He continued, “I was always much closer to my mother, we have a really close relationship.”

I can’t introduce this guy to my family.

“That’s really nice.”

“Yeah, I’m excited because my dad’s coming into the city tomorrow to help me look for apartments and I think there is a real opportunity for us to bond.”

All I could think was you’re an adult – and you think you’re going to redeem your relationship with you father by exposing that you’re incapable of finding an apartment without your dad?

“For sure – I bet it will be really nice,” hey – what do I know?

“I’m really glad I’m here with you and that we’re doing this.”

Ehhhh – “Yeah, me too. It’s nice getting to know you better.”

“You’re really beautiful. You have the most symmetrical face I’ve ever seen in person.”

Compliment in model speak?

“Hmm. Thanks?” I laughed.

“Oh I mean it as a huge compliment. Your face is unbelievable,” he was straining to put his compliment into language for mere mortals. “Like Betty Crocker.”

He pulled out his ringing phone, apologized and said he had to get it .

I couldn’t have cared less. I was trying to solve the puzzle of this “huge compliment.” Here’s where I was hung up:

1. He said Betty Crocker. I envisioned Aunt Jemima.

2. When I said “Betty Crocker?” and he confirmed, the image in my head was replaced wth Mrs. Butterworths. I’m blonde and white as can be – so I struggled to draw the connection.

3. Finally, I realized I was thinking about the syrup lady and Betty Crocker involves baking. I searched and searched for the “Betty Crocker” image somewhere in my mind. Then it hit me – Red Spoon.

“Sorry, that was my dad,” he explained his phone call. “Anyway, you know what I mean. You have that Betty Crocker all American look.”

I mean, I guess I can understand associating the Big red spoon with domesticity, making it “all American.” Still, I didn’t understand why my face made him think of a giant spoon.

My dad later explained to me that Betty Crocker used to have a face – and it resembled Grace Kelly. I didn’t see why model couldn’t have just said Grace Kelly from the beginning.


We finished our drinks and parted ways – he was off to model/cater on Long Island and I was off to my apartment. He said he was looking forward to going out again. Then texted me to let me know (again) he couldn’t wait to see me soon.

We made plans. The next date was the final nail in the Dating-A-Model coffin.


Anonymous said...

Mrs. Butterworth? Seriously?

Model speak is almost harder to understand than Latin.

Katherine Long said...

This is one of my faves

SmallbutMighty said...

Can I just say that now I am craving pancakes

Mary Butler said...

The Betty Crocker confusion was amazing!